| Jenny 的个人资料Somewhere Only We Know照片日志列表 | 帮助 |
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11月3日 One day I will be an old ladyRead an article on an old friend's msn space talking about stopping wasting time, it brought back me some old memories which I'd never even slitly thought about. Memories are always there in our back heads but need something to remind us to bring them back:
When I was little, I thought it must be a great change of life when people became 18 years old. I was nervous when my 18th birthday would come soon. This friend was a little bit older than me, I asked him when the whole university had a meeting in the university hall :"How does it feel to be 18?" He said :"Nothing special at all, you will feel the same when you become 18." He was right, nothing extraordinary happened on my 18th birthday, a normal day started my life as a legal adult.
When I was a bit over 20, I had a few close friends in Edinburgh. I enjoyed their accompany and thought life was wonderfully simple and full of joy. One day when a friend walked me to bus station, I said:" I don't understand why people want to find a girl/boyfriend when they have good friends as we do. Life is much simpler with friends. A relationship, a husband, those things are far way from my life." He said:" You will find somebody special just for you. You can do a lot of things with friends, but friends can't fullfil all your needs for a complete life." He was right again, I met my huby a few months after this conversation.
I found it was hard to imagine me being 18, 20, working as parents do and getting married as adults do, but time makes me accept these stages naturally. 时光飞逝, time flys, tiden flyr, it's waiting for nobody. Imagine me to be 30, how will my life look like when I am 40?
I will be 30 years old in 3 short years when I still remember me asking: "How does it feel to be 18?" Gosh! I am not ready - One day I will be an old lady.
10月11日 non-titledHave been busy in I don't know what for a long time.
My parents were here with me for 3 months, it was nice to get to spend some time with them. They were worried about me being in a country they'd never been, and being with a guy they'd never got chance to really know. After 88 days and night spent together, they were more or less relieved, it is one of the main objectives to having them here with me for 3 months.
Got a present ticket and watched film "Mama Mia" on Wednesday, the film is kind of made by fitting in ABBA songs! This movie can definitely make people happy, of course the pre-condition is you like music. Peter thought it was a "chick movie", music and dance and love story and so, but he turned out like it and recommended it to his parents and brother. I also watched The Mummy 3: Tomb of the dragon Emperor. The only thing I remember about it now is the movie was full of advanced computer graphics...
I burned my hand by stream, it is painful... 1月25日 TrivialTalked with a friend the other day, he is the kind of person that can easily engage himself to things that other people will not prioritize. He practises English loud reading a few hours a day after work, just because he wants to see how perfect his English reading can be in a Chinese speaking enviornment. He takes pictures of himself daily and compare them with each other just because he wants to see how alike his images are in photo and in mirror. He asks people to talk with him in English and in Chinese, because he wants to find out the personal character difference between when people talk in mother tongue and when people speak a foreign language. I think if someone introduce a religion to him, he can be very religious. One of a kind! The thing is, I always think people who like taking pictures for themselves are Narcissus, but after I've done it myself, taking snaps for myself is just entertaining. Maybe I am a Narcissus myself without knowing it I actually think when we say something is "strange" or "unusual" is only because our experience and knowlege is not broad enough. For a few years ago I thought people living abroad were extraordinary, but now I know we are as normal as people can be. People around me talk about other countries' "strange" culture, I would say there is nothing "strange" but something "different". There is an adage in China, it says there is a frog spending his whole life time in a deep well, all it can see is a round sky with the size of the well's radius, so it thinks the whole world is his well and the round little piece of sky above it. People that can not accept other country's culture difference and try to "upgrade" the others to fit into his own world is judgmental and frog in a well. Unfortunately, it is hard to make frog in well recognize that there are many different wells, lakes, rivers, and oceans existing in the world. 1月2日 For year 2008Back from holiday today and had a quick look at friends' blogs, lots of them wrote short summeries for year 2007 and had a plan for year 2008. I am a lazy kind of person trying to avoid thinking or planning too much in advance, coz my philosophy (if it can be called as philosophy) is "Everything is changing, even if I've been thinking and planning in advance, when I finally reach the very point, the situation will not fit perfectly my expectations, even worse the thinking and planning will make me less flexible. The important thing for me is to think and plan for now, and make effects for now."
Humen are different, some say a clear time schedule is good for them to fullfill a task, but for me a time schedule is something made to be broken. I remember when I was in school, teachers asked us to write "New year, new plan" every year, I wrote those essaies as a task and they had never had any affect on my semester years.
For year 2008 I do have a few plans, maybe I should call them wishes instead of plans. For me, wishes have bigger chance to come true than plans=) I will write my new year wishes down, it might be interesting to read next year.
New year New wishes
1. Fix driving license. (I've been thinking and planning about this for at least 2 years, shame on me....)
2. Spend more time with my parents this year, either they visit us here or we go back for a few weeks.
3. Support PP's plan. (PP's plan which starts this year will bring a great change to our lives in the nearest maybe 5 years.)
4. Get good feedbacks from work. (The project is really complicated, hopefully it will go well.)
12月17日 Gibberish after calling homeAfter 2 years' struggle for deciding to leave or to stay, to continue or to give up, I've decided to stay and to continue in Sweden for at least the nearest future. My whole body feels lighter when the decision's taken. However, one thing is fixed, a few more things are coming for me to consider and to decide.... It is tiring to keep experiencing difficulty and to make a great effort in order to do every small little thing, but it is life I suppose, especially for the first migration generation individual like me. It is also why life is so wonderful and full of surprises. The small fruit after the great efforts is so sweet; and I am always curious, but never know what is going to happen to me next.
I've learnt to take care of myself, and take it easy: keep making effort but don't expect too much from these efforts, whatever result comes out, just accept it and move on, as life always does.
9月24日 heheSurprisingly and reasonably nothing much to do today. After the boiling week, Sweden site's pending tasks were settled by last Friday. The Spanish are traveling to Stockholm for the meeting and northern people are preparing for tomorrow's meeting, nobody's bothered to mail me or call me. I just made my documents in order and reported what I've done last week. I've planned for my Stockholm trip luggage item by item at least twice, still there are a few hours left before I can call it a day.
It's nice weather outside. Maybe should go for a walk after dinner... What should I cook for dinner? Life is like a journey, really!Life is a journey! I really get it now!
After the latest couples of months, all I can recall is I was waiting for a train, I was traveling in a train; I was waiting in the airport, I was flying in an airplane; I was waiting for a taxi, I was taking a taxi to somewhere... I am always somewhere, travel. Life is a journy, yea, sure. 8月13日 7 weeks in Barcelona.Got this job offer at the end of the Swedish course. I don't know if it was pure luck or it was the evidence for my theory: Swedish is essiential for getting an job in Sweden. Anyway, all those were not important then, all I needed to do was to pack up and fly to Barcelona to attend a 5 weeks SAP course. These 5 weeks became 7 weeks, and now I am home and taking a 2 weeks' holiday. After this holiday, I have to fly to Barcelona again, and the ticket I got this time was an one-way ticket, I don't know how long it is going to be this time.
During the 5 weeks, we started with ABAP, then Sale and Distribution, finance, material management, production planning. One module per week, the course costs a fortune for the company, and the information storm was strong for us who had never touched SAP before.
We had almost no spare time during the weekdays. Got up in the morning and went to work around 9, came back to the hotel tired out around 19o'clock, ate dinner around 20o'clock, then it was the time to clean up and go to sleep. We lived in the industry area which is 35 mins train to Barcelona city, the train journey was tiring and boring, I hated to take that train. We went to the city after work during the evenings a few times, but most oftenly we went there at Saturday.
Barcelona is a city of art, lots of places to visit, everything place needs one day to really take a close look. At the first weekend, we wanted to take a look at almost all the top interesting places at once, and that day turned to be very stressful, we were so tired that we could hardly find our way back to the hotel. After that, we only planed one place for one weekend.
Weather there was great for Swedish people-29 degrees and sunny all the time, but I prefer 20 degrees' cool summer in Sweden. Food there was wonderful-Tasty and cheap (except the tourist places). They think food is very important, eating is a great joy of life, kind of similar to Chinese culture. Gaudi design is big there, you can find Gaudi style's houses even when u just walk on a normal small street. They are proud to be Catalan. They think people in Madrid can only read papers, and the people in south of Spain can only dance and drink on the beach. Only people in Catalunya is really working in Spain. They don't speak English to you in Spain. French don't speak English, coz they don't want to speak any other languages than french; spanish people dont speak english, is purly because they can't, no arrogant thing as the french people.
I'll put some photos here before I forget what the places were called. If i said something offended someone or some nation here, please ignore me, it is just jenny's gibberish after all. 11月3日 A nice old little songI haven't spent anytime to update this space for quite a while, but the time still has fled away doesn't care if I notice it. My space is still in summer, but outside of my window, it is snowing. All right, the cold and dark winter has came.
I might have a low fever right now. I feel a bit dizzy and heavy in my head, my face and chest is burning warm, but my hands and back is freezingly cold. It feels uncomfortable but nice in a strange way. How weird it is! Seems like I am enjoying this sickness. I haven't been sick for a long time, I can not even remember when the last I was sick.
I found an old nice little song, it called "something stupid". The first time I heard this song was when I was still in the UK. I think it was played in Bank of Scoltand's TV commercial. A sweet song with delightful rythm, so I decide to put it on the space. Hopefully everybody can smell the fragrance of autumn sunshine by listening to this song in a cold winter day.
Something Stupid
--- Robbie Wiliams & Nicole Kidman
I know I stand in line Until you think you have the time To spend an evening with me And if we go someplace to dance I know that there's a chance You won't be leaving with me Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two And then I go and spoil it all By saying something stupid Like I love you I can see it in your eyes You still despise the same old lines You heard the night before And though it's just a line to you For me it's true And never seemed so right before I practice every day to find some clever lines to say To make the meaning come true But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late And I'm alone with you The time is right Your perfume fills my head The stars get red And oh the night's so blue And then I go and spoil it all By saying something stupid Like I love you (INSTRUMENTAL) The time is right Your perfume fills my head The stars get red And oh the night's so blue And then I go and spoil it all By saying something stupid Like I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you 5月23日 Vicious Circle?!Veronica said once when she was in ICA Supermarket, she saw a guy was throwing lots of bananas from goods shelf to a trolley. The bananas were a little bit old, some of them had black marks on the skin, but she was sure that they were still good bananas. So she asked the guy what they gonna do with those bananas, the guy said: throw them. She was shocked and asked why they didn't sell it in a lower price instead. The guy said: then all the customers buy the cheap ones instead of our fresh and expensive ones.
I believe it does happen in Swedish supermarkets. Because I've never seen any supermarket sell their old goods in lower price. In Scotland, ASDA, TESCO, marks&spencer, Sainsbury...every supermarket sells their old goods in lower prices every day. For example, if a pizza's best before date is tomorrow, then the pizza is selling on a special shelf today with half of the original price or even lower. The pizza doesn't harm customers' health, because the customer buy it cheaply and eat it early. On the other hand, the store get a little bit money back to their capital. Why not?! I don't get it!
I understand that they want to sell goods in high price and get high profit, but isn't it burning money to throw away all the old goods? Yea, you can say that if all the customers go for the older and cheaper goods, the fresh and high-price goods will be left on the shelf and become old and cheap again, so a vicious circle is built. But I don't think so. The goods that have to be put on the special shelf and selling in a low price can't be a big quantity, so the low-price-shelf doesn't stop selling original price goods at all. And most of the time, the extra low price is a stimulation for shopping. A customer didn't plan to buy a pizzza and eat it as dinner tonight, but when he sees a pizza in such a low price, he might want to buy it, as a result, customer spend more money in the store than he supposed to do. In the other case, if the old goods are so many that after they have been sold ut in a low price, the new goods had became old. Then the problem of the store is not the low-price-shelf, but its logistics. They should not buy in so much more than their customer request.
I just think it is wrong to throw goods for nothing. However, I can also imagine how difficult it is to calculate the cost and income in details. If they sell old things in lower price, then they have to buy in less goods each time to keep the supply-request balance, it means that they can sell less goods in high price. That is to say the money they get from the low price goods should be able to compensate the possible profit loss that is caused by less buy in and selling new goods. Anyway, I believe that a store with a good logistics system can save money by a low-price-shelf. And doesn't matter what, throwing old goods away and, at the same time, buying in new goods is burning money.
All above are personal opinions. ICA, don't hate me! I just use you as an example. If I said something wrong, don't blame me, it's just Jenny's gibberish anyway 5月2日 SonyaSonya invited me and some other girlfriends to her place last Friday. We ate dinner, had coffee and had fun. Even her neighbour could hear our laugh.
I brought some flowers to her, they were pretty and matched her living room perfectly. 2月4日 Here I am, once again~~I'm back from China. It was soooooooo nice to be home. No need to think about anything, life was just eating and shopping, which is quite close to my goal--- life of a pig
I didn't meet as many friends as I expected before the trip, but I'd met the most important ones, it's enough. A happy person shouldn't ask for too much, isn't it? The more we ask for, the more desire we would have. Then, naturally, life would be filled up by unsatisfaction......what a torture.
I went to a hairdresser in China. I'm sooo regret about the decision I made. Oh, yes, I asked them to straight my hair, permanently. But I didn't ask them to make it... puffy. My hair is far from straight now, I'm just like a little lion king in the morning, I can even see some small curls on my hair. My hair is a piece of fail work or disaster. I was stupid to pay so much money and sit over there for so long time for being ugly. Next time when I think about straight my hair again, I'll read these words and kill the stupid thought.
Mamma bought 3kg Chinese sausages for me, it was damn heavy but worthy. These sausages can support me at least half a year with a taste of China. 12月22日 Jenny, please keep going~~I'm going back home this month and will stay there for a month. I haven't been home since the 25th of September, 2003. I miss my parents and friends soooo much.They are also excited by my returning, all my friends and relatives are planning to see me as soon as possible. So, in the first time of my life, I have to make a schedule for the month. I don't want to miss anyone of them. But unfortunately, I can't go to Beijing where lots of my friends are working or studying. Anyway, it's going to be an exciting trip.
But i'm a bit worried about my swedish language learning. I'm just on the way to start to open up my month and ear when I'm communicating with swedish people. I'm afraid that I would lose the feeling and confidence to do that after the long vacation in my home country. I'll take my swedish lecture notes with me, hopefully I could read a little bit when I'm home. The chance is tiny though
Have fun and don't throw out too much things from my head. Keep going, keep going~~~ 10月29日 language learningMy english speaking voice is a bit brighter than my Chinese talking voice, I don't know if it's because I'm unconsciously nervous when I'm talking in a foreign language.
And I'm learning another language right now, actually I've just been learning it formally for 4 weeks. So far it feels like I can't opening up my mouth to utter my first sentence. I can clearly figure out the sentence I should say in my mind, but when I go in front of a person, the only thing i can do is just opening my month and say: eh, eh, eh.... Then it always ends up as I speak english instead.
I aware the importance of language knowledge, including pronunciation, vocabulary, grammar, and understanding of the language. Sadly and actually we can gain none of them in a short time. So there is a conflict when we need to use a language properly as soon as possible, but we cannot even spit out a correct sentence in ages. Self-confidence is losing.
Maybe when I started learning my first foreign language, the study purpose, which was getting higher grades in writing exams, made me a bad foreign language learning habit. I can manage to do my languge homework correctly, I can write dairy daily in this language without too many mistakes, I can understand normal things they are talking about, but I just can't talk. It's really annoying~~~ I want to ask for help, but I know that there is no short cut for language learning.
Keep learning, keep trying, progress will show. Hopefully~~~ 10月17日 GibberishProbably everybody would feel lonely in some occasions. I have a man who loves me and i'm in love with, i have one very close girl friend, and quite a lot fun friends. But sometimes I feel extremely lonely, i want to talk to someone who is not in my life, who doesn't know me. When i talk to them, i feel free to talk about everything without being afraid of misunderstanding and hostile gossips. That's why i like to bla bla on kinds of forums without adding any one into my friend list, even if sometimes I met someone who is really friendly, charming and emotionally close to me. Because I would appreciate them as special friends who i would like to talk about something that i can't say in my social group. And those friends won't ask for appreciation or regular greeting, they will be there when i need to talk. I know it's understandable to do like i do, but it's selfish to say it, but I'd like to say it now, because i'm saying it to my internet friends who will be open-minded to me all the time. a post from a forumI was thinking about put this question on "海外华人",but those so called "nationalists" definitely will bury me with their villainous words. Replies here are more cordial and mature than somewhere else in tianya. I’m just sincerely asking: do you really think Chinese girls should feel shame for themselves if they fell in love with a foreigner? The first thing first, I have to acknowledge that my fiancé is an European. The reason why I admit it is definitely not like most of repliers in "海外华人" thought - to flaunt or something. I'm just confessing my position on asking for your true opinions here. Certainly I don't think it's the shame, I'll get married with my fiancé next month, but I dare not to tell all my old classmates and friends in China. Because I'm afraid they will think I'm worthless to marry a foreigner. I know you are thinking that i'm ridiculous or the way i'm acting is irony. Actually, I'm a person who cares about what the others think about me. Because I'm personally pride or with no self-confidence, i dont know. The replies to some articles in "海外华人" shocked me, I didn't know so many people think Chinese girls who has relationship with a foreigner is so snobbish, so humble. Some person used the most malicious words to blame the girl who just started a relationship with an European. After reading it, I can't stop thinking about what people will talk behind me if i have a foreigner around me in China, and I will have no idea how to deal with that kind of embarrassing situation. Love is just the common feeling of all the human beings. My fiancé and I just like all the common Chinese lovers, we knew each other in a place where we were taking a part-time job during the weekends. We started dating after we knew each other for 3 month. During this year, we went through lots of tough barriers like my parents' discourage, his national service, my further study, and much much more. Finally, we come to today. I don't know what our future will be, but I do believe the love between Chinese and foreigners has no difference from the love that happens between two Chinese. Now I'm confused by myself. Am I asking for opinions, or persuading myself, or trying to persuade you? But I think you get what i'm trying to say. Anyway, thank you very much if you read all my bla bla bla, and i will marry him next month anyway. But I will really appreciate your kindness - if you could give me your opinion, encouragement, or disagreement. |
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